Masturbation Frustration

Or, ‘what to do when you can’t physically masturbate’. (But that wasn’t as catchy.) I’m currently bed bound, in the midst of what’s known as a ‘flare’. My muscles ache, and my joints creak. When I move different parts of me hurt from my head, all the way down to my toes. And, as to why I’m telling you all this … I’m horny. Not in a fleeting ‘oh it would be nice to have an orgasm way’, but in a honest to god ‘no orgasms for two weeks, teased to the brink way’ horny. You see, when I’m sick I masturbate. It’s the thing to do when sick…

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