My Medical History! (A Little Background Info)

Hi, I’m Eve. Today we’re going to cover some of my very complicated medical histories. Let’s talk about that, shall we?

You might want to grab yourself a cup of tea to begin with, or beverage or an alcoholic drink depending on your outlook in life. We’ll going to talk about medical conditions today. Mine in particular. Now, this isn’t really to do with sexuality and disability, but it does pertain to them in their own way. I like to discuss my disability in regards to sexuality – disability and sexuality, accessible sex toys, accessible lingerie, and you have got to know that I have a basis for what I’m talking about.

We’re going to cover my medical conditions. They are vast. There are a lot of them and every single paramedic I meet, and clinician, doctor, nurse wherever I hand them my cheatsheet they’re like, “that’s a lot.”

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Moving House to Improve My Sex Life! [Video Transcript]

In approximately less than a month, I will be in a new place which is absolutely terrifying – bone-chillingly terrifying. But, exciting, very exciting. There’s a lot to do in terms of buying and packing everything else, but absolutely terrifying. However, the thing I am most excited about is that my sex life is going to improve. I know this, I know this without a single doubt in my mind because my house isn’t accessible. So, everything is an improvement.

It’s also interesting … I’m going to go with interesting. The house I’m in now is an old house. It’s a house that has a lot of windows that I hate that are not double glazed. (So many ladybugs in the bedroom right now, it’s very weird – They’re perving on us during sex) It’s very drafty, and very steep stairs, completely inaccessible and just a money pit. Thankfully, we’re just renting, so it’s not our fault if anything breaks.

The house we’re in now has no space for spontaneous sex. The previous place I was in, a lot of spontaneous sex happened in places where it really shouldn’t have happened, like the bathtub. The edge of the bathtub which then ended up being on the floor in the bathroom which then, by mutual agreement, the Gent and I just decided that it was working, shall we go to the bedroom. Surprisingly, it worked a lot better there.

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I told my physiotherapist I wanted to have sex. [Video Transcript]

Hi. I’m Eve, and I told my physiotherapist that I wanted to have physiotherapy to improve my sex life.

So, it’s slightly click bait, but I did have physiotherapy this week. I’ve had two sessions now, with an NHS physiotherapist. I had a few with a prior physiotherapist, but they were odd and too intrusive, and very judgy. You find when you’re chronically ill, and you start going to places to “get better” people become their own authority over you.

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Figuring out oral sex.  

Up until last year, I was not a fan of receiving oral sex. I was (and still am) a huge fan of giving oral sex, but not receiving it. Why? People either had a habit of making me feel bad for the look of my vulva (unsurprisingly, that was Douche), or they were just really really bad at it, and I came away with bruises – noses are dangerous weapons! There’s also the fact that I can get uncomfortable really quickly during oral due to one body part or another playing up. Basically, oral sex was always way more stressful than relaxing. 

However, this year, I’ve gained a new appreciation for oral sex, in part due to necessity. There were been many times where the combination of vibrations, and some penis in vagina action were not enough for my clit, but there was only so much we could do. My body was limited to certain actins, particularly post hospital as I had no strength, or stamina. I was determined to figure out how oral sex works best for me, and this time I wasn’t just settling for what was happening. I was bossy, slightly demanding, and for once I gave myself permission to let go.

Figuring out oral sex will be different for everyone, but here’s how I finally figured it out for me!

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Hearing loss in the bedroom

Something you may or may not know – I have hearing loss.

As always with me, no one is sure why, and I’m still getting it investigated. I first noticed it late last year when everything else kicked off, and it seems to be accompanied by tinnitus, fluctuating sound independent of the hearing loss, vertigo and balance issues. Whilst I don’t have a good gage of whether or not the hearing loss has gotten worse, it’s far enough from my ‘norm’ that to effects me daily. Whilst it’s predominantly my lower tones, a lot of things can make it even worse like ambient noise, muffled voices, low voices, multiple people talking at once, and conversely high pitched tones. If there’s live music I have to wear ear plugs, and if I’m not expecting the word you’re about to say, there’s no chance I’m going to understand you. So this is my way of saying if I ever ignore you, I’m sorry!

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How do you make sex toys accessible? 9 ways to make sex toys accessible, or at least get you thinking.

How do you make sex toys accessible?  9 ways to make sex toys accessible, or at least get you thinking. I’ve had a number of conversations about how to make sex toys accessible with various people, from bloggers, to industry folks, and to the Gent. The short story, there’s no one way to make every single sex toy on the market accessible, the long story … well read on. Accessibility in sex toys is a topic close to my heart. I love sex toys. I have so many of them that each year my sex toy storage has to increase, but…

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My sexual needs, wants, and desires are secondary.

My sexual needs, wants, and desires are secondary. Disability and sexuality … according to the medical system.  Recently I wrote a piece about Eroticon, and how it reawaken my sexuality. This piece is in someways an accompaniment to that, this piece is how my sexuality got pummelled, pulverised, and ultimately put away. Then I saw a bunch of tweets today (for everyone’s mental health I won’t include them), and yet again I started getting riled up about disability and sexuality and how it’s not taken seriously. Doctors have important jobs, I will in no way dispute that. That only reason…

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Accessible Lingerie

Accessible Lingerie  (This post is brought to you by being by myself for for the first time in over a year, and trying – and failing to put lingerie on for work.) I love lingerie, I wear it for work, pleasure, and play. I wear it for myself, for customers, and my partner. But at the moment I can’t wear it, at least I can’t wear it independently. The tips of my fingers don’t work, and can’t really feel sensation in my finger tips, my hands go red and ache, and I can’t bend my arms or my body into…

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Eroticon Speech on Sex Work and Disability | Part III

3) You very rarely hear the voice of the sex worker or person with a disability talking, other people talk over us and for us.  This one ties neatly into my previous point, so I won’t go on too much about it, but even when our voices are portrayed they’re twisted. News articles want a story that juicy – just last year I came down to Eroticon, but I came down a day early to go to an industry event. The event was a showing of a new show like Sex Excetra that showcased sex workers doing their day to…

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Eroticon Speech on Sex Work and Disability | Part II

Sex Work and Disability First I’m going to answer why as a disabled person sex work is perfect for me? Pick my own hours. Work when I feel up to it. I can work from bed. I can earn residual income from things like clips whist in hospital. I can stop at any point. I can set my own boundaries. I can earn money – it’s actually really difficult for me – long work hours etc. Finally, being disabled is expensive. Scope recently found disabled people have over £500 of disability related expenses a month. Food, heating, aids and appliances,…

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