Breaking Down BDSM, Part 1

Breaking Down BDSM, Part 1

Breaking Down BDSM, Part 1

Let’s clear something up, BDSM and fetish aren’t as scary as some people think. The media loves to sensationalise everything nowadays, and unfortunately BDSM isn’t exempt from that. 

I’m going to break it all down, and simplify it so you can see that it’s pretty straightforward. For context, I have been practicing BDSM for quite some time – nearly 7 years now, and I also used to practice it professionally. I identify as a dominate sadistic female, and very occasionally switch with my partner in pursuit of hedonistic pleasures. 

What does BDSM stand for?

The initialism has three sets of meanings – bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism.

What is BDSM?

At its core, BDSM is a power dynamic with communication. BDSM also spans a wide range of activities from more sensation based – tying someone up (with rope, bondage tape, nylon stockings, and more), spanking, and wax play, to activities that are more about control – orgasm denial, eye contact restrictions, protocol, and more. 

BDSM gives people the chance to escape from their day to day lives either by giving up control to someone else or letting that someone else take care of them. It also let people explore curiosities in a safe environment.

I want to stress the word ‘consent’, everything is built on a foundation of consent. 

What is sadism, and masochism? 

A ‘sadist’ is someone that enjoys giving pain, and a ‘masochist’ is someone that likes to receive pain.

What is discipline? 

Within the content of BDSM, the dominant usually gives the submissive rules. If those rules are broken, the dominant will then discipline the submissive. The type of discipline varies depending on the couple. One dominant might use psychological punishment such as making a submissive stand in the corner, whereas another dominant might use physical punishment, such as spanking the submissive to correct their behaviour. 

Whilst not pleasant, punishment is seen as a necessarily evil to correct the submissive’s behaviour. 

Even within disciple there must be consent. 

Is it a lifestyle, or only for the bedroom?

Both! Some people prefer it all to be only in the bedroom, whilst some incorporate it in their day to day lives. It depends entirely on the arrangement in place. 

Is BDSM safe? 

With the world of BDSM there are three acronyms: SSC, RACK, and PRICK.

SSC stands for safe, sane, and consensual. RACK stands for risk aware consensual kink. PRICK stands for personal responsibility, informed consensual kink.

BDSM, and by extension fetish play is not without risk. Some risks are lower than others, for example there is a risk of bruising when spanking. Some risks are higher than others, for example during bondage there must be a mental awareness of nerves, and circulation to ensure there will be no damage. 

Why do people like BDSM?

It’s different for everyone. Some like it because it’s an escape, some like it because it heightens their orgasms, and some enjoy the act of giving. 

Personally, I like it because of the variety that it offers. As a dominant I also enjoy being able to give pleasure to my partners in many different ways depending on their fetish, I also enjoy seeing a person completely let go. When I switch, I still top from the bottom (meaning I have a tendency to control what’s happening even when I’m not the one who’s supposed to be in control), and prefer everything to do with sensation play, and controlled pain play. It can be a nice release from my day to day chronic pain – I will try to explain this more soon.. 

Is BDSM abuse? 

Done correctly, no, it is not abuse. No one in a healthy BDSM relationship, or scene is forced to do anything they do not want to do.

Unfortunately, like in many other areas of life people sometimes abuse the power given to them, disregard safety measures put in place, and the consent of another. That is not a BDSM, that is abuse.  

How can I learn more?

A lot can be learned from the internet nowadays for free, and there are even websites dedicated to teaching BDSM online – KinkAcademy.com.

If you’re of age, and you’d prefer to learn more in person you can always go to your your local fetish scene. To find your local fetish scene you can sign up to FetLife.com, and search for your area. In many areas there are fetish parties, munches (meetings of other kinky people set in a causal environment), and clubs where you can meet likeminded people. 

Ultimately, BDSM is enjoyed by many consenting adults. That’s the key word – consenting adults.

This post contains affiliate links. 

FOLLOW ME: NEWSLETTERTWITTER | TUMBLR | INSTAGRAM | YOUTUBE

Follow:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this:
Close Me
Looking for Something?
Search:
Post Categories: