Fuck Me Out of My Funk This is my first ever post for Masturbation Monday, and it’s the first erotica post I’ve published on this site. I’m only a tiny bit nervous … go easy on me in the comments! __ Sometimes you know what’s caused it. Sometimes you come home, and find me watching horror movies. The only time I watch horror is when my brain shuts down; when I don’t want to do anything but sit, and feel numb. You see that look upon my face, so you sit by me, and whisper dirty words into my ear.…

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Or, ‘what to do when you can’t physically masturbate’. (But that wasn’t as catchy.) I’m currently bed bound, in the midst of what’s known as a ‘flare’. My muscles ache, and my joints creak. When I move different parts of me hurt from my head, all the way down to my toes. And, as to why I’m telling you all this … I’m horny. Not in a fleeting ‘oh it would be nice to have an orgasm way’, but in a honest to god ‘no orgasms for two weeks, teased to the brink way’ horny. You see, when I’m sick I masturbate. It’s the thing to do when sick…

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