Relearning how to masturbate

Just before falling from the precipice of orgasm there’s a single minded focus that comes from the build up of pleasure that is both delightful, and frantic. The holding of breath, tensing of muscles, and urgency of movement is because your body takes over, whilst the mind shuts down. The pleasure demands to be fulfilled through release.

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My uterus controls my life, but my medication makes the doctors listen.

My uterus owns me. It has free rein over my body without the regulatory body of doctor implanted hormones. Though, that’s not for the lack of trying.

During the run up to my period I get severe PMS, to the point where my anxiety is up, and I’m forever paranoid, and worried about my partner and myself leaving the house. At random intervals, my brain will interrupt the regularly scheduled programming to inform me of all the horrific things that could happen to try partner whilst he is still driving. But, soon as my period hits, it all goes away. My brain reverts to slightly anxious, and occasionally sad, though generally pretty okay all things considering. It’s like clockwork … if said clock occasionally ran 10 late, and occasionally stopped for extremely stressful events.

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Under the thumb of the NHS.

The NHS controls my life.

It’s a fact. Without my pill regime, I would not be functional, and without the many appointments I attend I would not be allowed the pills regime. I also rely on the appointments to see if there’s any chance of figuring out what the hell is going on with my ever temperamental body. Spoiler, usually no one has a clue.

It is because of the NHS, my temperamental body, and the realisation that I’m not Wonder Woman that I have to pull out of attention/speaking at Eroticon 2019.

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Keep Calm, and Carry On

Sometimes, I feel rather British. Granted, this feeling is intensified as I’ve just watched four episodes of The Crown, but part of me feels like a stiff upper lip is needed to get through life. It’s how I’ve dealt with most things, but apparently that’s called compartmentalisation, and isn’t healthy for you.

Alongside all my usual health concerns, slight hesitancy when it comes to blogging, work, and new house drama, there’s a lot going on. I’m visiting my birth place with an increasing frequency where relatives tell stories that they think are ‘cute’ but are actually traumatic, resting for days to recover from the stress on my body then doing it all again, dealing with PTSD (probably cPTSD), but most predominantly grief.

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Elust 114 | Sex Blogger Are Awesome

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #115? Start with the rules, come back February1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

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Caring too much about the wrong thing.

I give too many fucks.

I’ve known that I give too many fucks for some time, but a conversation with the Gent at 2am this morning really highlighted that fact when every worry I had was met with ‘that’s because you care too much’.

Caring is great, in fact the world would be a better place if people cared even a smidgen more, but caring too much can leave you paralysed with fear. It can give you endless anxiety, decision fatigue, and insecurity. It can make you reconsider your identity, your work, and ambitions.

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2018 Roundup

2018 was my first proper year of blogging. Whilst this blog did start during the latter half of 2016, a lot of things happened that took my attention away during 2017, so 2018 was the year I really got into it. And it’s show. I’ve published 80 blog posts this year (18 last year), and more than doubled the amount of reviews I wrote in 2017 – granted not a hard thing to do.

I’ve already posted my sex blogging resolutions, but here is a very quick roundup of 2018!

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My Sex Blogging Resolutions!

Hello! I’ve not disappeared! Attempting to work, balance body, the holidays, earning money, and moving house took a toll, and I let blogging go a tad, but things are starting to settle down, so I’m back! And just in time for the start of 2019, speaking of which.

New Year’s resolutions about eating heathy, and drinking less are all well and good, but those are pretty useless to me. So, I’ve decided that this year I will only make resolutions about sex blogging. Accountability, and all that!

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Elust 113 | Sex Bloggers are Awesome!

Photo courtesy of Quinn Rhodes Welcome to Elust 113 The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #114? Start with the rules, come back January 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates! ~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~ The Source of Control Town Use FOMO is NOT how my vagina feels about sex. ~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~ The Weight…

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Things I love: November 2018 Roundup

Things I love: November 2018 Roundup Between hospital appointments, house moving, a birthday, and life dramas, November has been an odd sorts of busy month. I also can’t believe we’re already in December, I swear it was January just a moment ago. As December 1st draws to a close, December 2nd will mean that I can start playing Christmas music, and decorating things! It’s a Gent rule to stop me playing Christmas songs in September … or July. This month I tried to blog as much as possible (in the spirit of NaNoWriMo), and I ended the month with a shocking…

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